Matt Peoples’ girlfriend doesn’t watch basketball. She doesn’t follow the standings, track the trades, or tune into the playoffs. So when she walked into the room and asked how Kelly Oubre Jr. is doing this season, it wasn’t hoop fandom talking. It was something else entirely. Peoples (@mattpeoplescomedy), to his credit, knew it. He just didn’t know which version of it was worse.
“My girlfriend, who doesn’t care about basketball or watch basketball at all, just asked how Kelly Oubre is doing this season,” the Philadelphia comedian and “Men At Work” podcaster said. “What do you know about Kelly Oubre?”
Kelly Oubre Jr. is a 30-year-old, 6’8″, 203 lb., lefty guard/forward who plays for the Philadelphia 76ers. The New Orleans native was drafted 15th overall by Atlanta in 2015 out of Kansas (but was traded immediately to Washington). He’s played for the Wizards, Suns, Warriors, Hornets, and now the 76ers. He had an LCL sprain that kept him out for 22 games, but he’s averaging 13.9 points, 4.9 rebounds, and 1.1 assists, while shooting 47.4% from the field. Now that star Paul George is out for 25 games for an anti-drug policy violation, he’s fixing to get a regular run.
Now, if there is any indication of why the women would dig him, his nicknames include “Tsunami Papi” and “Wave Papi.” Oubre is covered in tattoos, has piercings, and sometimes paints his nails.
He’s also got some weird stories attached to him. One in particular comes from November 2023, where apparently Oubre reported to police that he was struck by a silver car while walking near his new apartment in Center City, Philadelphia. The problem is that the police couldn’t find evidence of a crash at the intersection, and his Ring camera shows him bringing in a bike, which he didn’t report to the police.
But The Philadelphia Inquirer said he also might not have been in shape to accurately recall the events.
In any case, Oubre is a very good player, and the ladies love him. He definitely has “hide your girl” energy.
Now, obviously, Peoples is a comedian, so he might not be serious. However, this is a real issue for men (and women) who are married to or dating people who are willing to expose open crushes—or have even slept with athletes or other famous people.
Retroactive jealousy is a real thing. Regular jealousy can typically be dealt with in the present, as it feels manageable and controllable. However, per Thriveworks, “retroactive jealousy involves feeling threatened by an event or relationship in your partner’s past. Because retroactive jealousy is centered on something less controllable, it can lead to more fixations and distress around the perceived threat.”
Men, particularly, tend to be jealous of their significant other’s previous sexual experiences, or simply the implication of them, whether real or imagined. So, in the heads of unmoored men, it becomes a destabilizing situation, as they’ve created an unfair and essentially unwinnable comparison in their own minds. The relative proximity, with everyone being in Philly, in this case, could add to the anxiety.
There are one or two ways to frame this, but they can arrive in different packaging. Maybe she just finds him attractive enough to, you know, remember his name. It’s nothing. The second tier would be that she actually knows him. But then the question isn’t “Why does she find this guy attractive?” It’s “Why does she remember him?”
But this is the kicker: The sheer act of volunteering the information, especially when there’s no conversational reason to bring Kelly Oubre Jr. up, would signal something.
It could be carelessness. It could be a deliberate power move. Could be a way to put someone in their place. Might be a mixture of all three. None of the options is great to hear. If you aren’t grounded as a man, it will be a problem.
Some women were offering even more NBA players for others to ogle at. “Don’t let her hear about Quentin Grimes,” one woman said of Oubre’s Sixers teammate. One woman challenged whether Peoples actually knows ball, demanding to know, “What do YOU know about Kelly Oubre?”
Another commenter joked, “At least you guys look alike. Nothing to be worried about.” Peoples joked in a comment, “Guys, relax, I said he retired.”
AllHipHop reached out to Peoples via TikTok comment and direct message. This article will be updated upon response.
@mattpeoplescomedy Big fan huh? #kellyoubrejr #sixers #nba #funny #jokes ♬ original sound – Matt Peoples
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