Years after R. Kelly, the legal system, and the victim-blaming public spoke for the then-14-year-old girl in the singer’s infamous child pornography tape, Reshona Landfair is finally telling her own story.

In a new memoir and a recently released CBS Mornings interview, she describes how she went from an aspiring singer to a “sex slave” held captive and “brainwashed” through a decade-long abusive relationship.

In a first-ever interview with Rolling Stone, Landfair reveals her family thought the Grammy-winning star would make all of their dreams come true, grooming the adults around her before turning her life into a nightmare. As a member of the hip-hop group 4 the Cause, Landfair hoped to follow in the footsteps of her musical parents and rising R&B singer aunt, Sparkle, who introduced her to Kelly.

In the book, Landfair alleges that Sparkle gave her specific instructions about what to do with Kelly in hopes of gaining his favor.

“The next time we’re at the studio, you should ask Robert to be your godfather,” and to sit on his lap and rub his head. 

The pint-sized performer, nicknamed “Shorty,” tackled stages around the world. Yet now she is known for the violation that became a running joke and a sensationalized bootleg, circulating throughout the community that should’ve protected her.

Following years spent physically forced, shamed, and even guilted into hiding, Landfair is standing up for the little girl everyone else ultimately failed in Who’s Watching Shorty? Reclaiming Myself from the Shame of R. Kelly’s Abuse.

The memoir is available today, Tuesday, Feb. 3, with a foreword from Drew Dixon, who came forward with sexual assault allegations against another music industry titan, L.A. Reid.

“There’s no job that I can apply for where this isn’t the forefront of my life. There’s no relationship I could be in where this isn’t the forefront of my life,” Landfair said to Rolling Stone.

“[I felt] like I was losing power. I came to a conclusion one day, and I said, ‘If I just lay all of this out, I no longer have to explain myself. I no longer have to fear the whispers about me at the table, ‘Oh, you know who that is?’ … Once I realized that I didn’t have peace or privacy [by hiding], I had to take ownership.”

Reshona Landfair Speaks On The Tape, Being Mocked Over R. Kelly Abuse

In an interview released today with CBS’s Jericka Duncan, Landfair recalled the moment she learned that a tape she filmed with Kelly when she was just 14 was being shopped just weeks before her 17th birthday.

“I was empty. I was very hollow inside. I was very confused… And I was embarrassed,” said Landfair.

Asked why she did not tell the truth during earlier legal proceedings, including trials in 2002 and 2008, she described it as “one of my biggest regrets,” adding that being groomed from age 13 led her to believe the lies she was telling and to protect Kelly even when she “despised” him.

In 2008, Kelly was cleared by a Chicago jury of child pornography charges, a case in which Landfair later acknowledged that she gave false testimony to a grand jury by denying that she was the underage girl depicted in the sex tape.

Landfair also reflected on the public handling of the video evidence, saying she felt less protected than exposed, explaining that she was “not made to be a victim. I was a mockery,” a realization she called “very disheartening.”

“That was very difficult to digest,” she said.”It was very disheartening to know that my body was just being displayed and tossed around. When I look back on, I wish things could have been done differently, but those are all things I’ve had to internalize.”

Ultimayely she said that 2019’s Surviving R. Kelly Lifetime doc empowered her to come forward.

“The spirit of conviction came over me during that moment,” Landfair said to CBS. “Somehow, I felt responsible that he was able to hurt so many more people. During the time, I thought maybe these were just sexual fetishes that he had with me. Maybe this was just abuse I was going through.” 

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