PepsiCo is out here telling America to relax, wipe your fingers on a napkin and trust them again. How are we supposed to do that, being so health-minded? The snack / beverage giant recently announced that Doritos and Cheetos are getting a cleaned up and glowed down. They have a new, new line of snacks called Simply NKD. They are getting rid of stuff that we have hoped for.

They say the snacks won’t be wack either.

Part of the allure of Doritos is that orange dust known to stain a hood or coat your fingertips. Now, we can be bold without looking radioactive. All jokes aside, PepsiCo is taking this seriously.

PepsiCo’s chief marketing officer Hernán Tantardini framed it like a cultural moment, calling it a snacking revolution and even a renaissance. “Trust us, we taste the same, we just look a little… humble now.” There are no colors, no artificial flavors but still have that yummy, crunching taste. Wellness is a vibe in ’25! Oops…lets say ’26 since we are all about to be all “New Year, New Me.”

Now let’s talk about timing.

This announcement drops while federal regulators, including U.S. Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., are loudly talking about phasing out petroleum based food dyes by the end of next year. The Food and Drug Administration is monitoring everything. PepsiCo, meanwhile, says absolutely nothing about any of that and just made some naked Doritos.

And here is the funniest part.

These snacks are not actually colorless, they are just colored like a regular degular corn chip color. That Nacho Cheese flavor is still booming, but that’s it. This just means Doritos wants to keep your loyalty as you wise up. Good for them.