It’s almost as if President Donald Trump is on an unending MAGA mission to alienate all of the United States’ allies except Russia.

Source: The Washington Post / Getty

When he’s not ticking off European nations by staging a performative shouting match with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, he’s ticking off non-European nations by musing about colonizing the Gaza Strip and kicking all of the Palestinians out.

But just in case you forgot Trump’s xenophobic aggression is not limited to countries that don’t share a continent with us, Trump has made good on his promise to impose hefty tariffs on Canada and Mexico — potentially tossing a huge MAGA wrench into the international trade machine — and now the two nations, plus China, are retaliating.

According to The Economist, Trump’s 25% tariffs on our neighboring nations went into effect at 12:01 am EST on Tuesday, March 4th.

Aside from the 25% charge on imported goods from Mexico and Canada, Trump also imposed another 10% tariff on Chinese goods, which is in addition to the 10% charge he implemented last month, which was already in addition to tariffs imposed during his first term.

It’s like the MAGA world keeps trying to convince us that Trump will be the leader to bring the world together, and Trump keeps on shouting, “I DON’T LIKE THEM FOOLS UPSTAIRS OR DOWNSTAIRS AND TELL ALL THEM PEOPLE ACROSS THE HALL THEY AIN’T SH*T EITHER!”

Source: VIEW press / Getty

From the Economist:

If he persists, the tariffs on Canada and Mexico will stand as the most extreme and most dangerous act of protectionism by an American president in nearly a century. They threaten to blow apart a three-way trading relationship between America, Canada and Mexico that has been one of the world’s most successful examples of economic integration, particularly in the car industry. Some vehicle parts cross America’s borders seven times before reaching final assembly. Business representatives have warned that these will be hit with tariffs each time they cross the border. Spiralling costs could force some firms to halt production. In Mr Trump’s glib view, the tariffs will coax carmakers to build plants in America. In reality, the disruptions will lead to snarled supply chains and higher costs for consumers. Analysts calculate that the average car price in America will rise by about $2,500.

Look, I’m not a conspiracy theorist or anything, but the president who has the Tesla guy in his pocket (or vice versa?) has just implemented tariffs that are likely to cause a spike in automobile prices and, well — nah, let me go ahead and shut up.

Anyway, now the leaders of Canada, Mexico and China are hitting back at the tariff tyrant, mostly by implementing tariffs of their own.

From CBS News:

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced immediate retaliation to the new U.S. tariffs in a statement late Monday evening. He said Canada would impose a $30 billion counter-tariff on goods imported from the U.S. immediately, escalating to $155 billion worth of American products within the next 21 days. Trudeau has said previously that Canada would target American beer, wine, bourbon and home appliances, along with Florida orange juice, with its measures.

“Canada will not let this unjustified decision go unanswered,” Trudeau said, adding that he was already discussing with Canada’s provincial leaders various non-tariff measures that could be imposed if the Trump administration doesn’t lift its tariffs.

“Because of the tariffs imposed by the U.S., Americans will pay more for groceries, gas, and cars, and potentially lose thousands of jobs. Tariffs will disrupt an incredibly successful trading relationship. They will violate the very trade agreement that was negotiated by President Trump in his last term,” Trudeau said.

Trudeau also noted that while Trump is bungling international trade with, literally, his closest allies, he’s out here playing kissing cousins with a whole warlord.

Source: DAVE CHAN / Getty

“Today the United States launched a trade war against Canada, their closest partner and ally, their closest friend. At the same time, they’re talking about working positively with Russia, appeasing Vladimir Putin, a lying murderous dictator. Make that make sense,” Trudeau said. “We two friends fighting is exactly what our opponents around the world want to see.”

On Tuesday, Foreign Ministry spokesperson Lin Jian told reporters in Beijing that the “Chinese people cannot be swayed by [Trump’s] fallacies, deterred by [Trump’s] intimidation, and [Trump’s] bullying tactics are not the right way to deal with China.”

Source: picture alliance / Getty

“If the U.S. has other intentions and is committed to waging a tariff war, trade war, or any other kind of war, China will respond in kind,” Lin said, adding a call for the White House “to abandon its bullying tactics and return to the necessary track of dialogue and cooperation at an early date.”

CBS News reported that, like Canada, the Chinese government has already announced tariffs to counter Trump’s tariffs.

Meanwhile, Mexico’s President Claudia Sheinbaum has also vowed to retaliate against Trump’s “inconceivable” tariffs.

Source: ALFREDO ESTRELLA / Getty

“It’s inconceivable that they don’t think about the damage this is going to cause to United States citizens and businesses with the increase in prices for things produced in our country,” Sheinbaum said. “Also, the damage it will cause by stopping job creation in both countries. No one wins with this decision.”

You’re losing all your friends, America. And when the sh*t hits the fan, you’ll know who to thank.

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