For Black Women’s History Month, we’re highlighting Magic Makers who are leaving indelible marks in entrepreneurship, entertainment, and education and we think Tashera Simmons is a perfect fit.
Simmons is stepping fully into her purpose with the release of Dying to Self, a powerful new memoir detailing her journey through love, loss, and unwavering faith after life with the late hip-hop legend DMX.
In an exclusive interview with BOSSIP, Simmons opens up about her transformation and the real story behind one of hip-hop’s most iconic love stories. More than just a tell-all, Dying to Self is a spiritual blueprint for healing—and a love letter to the version of herself that survived it all.
“The business that we were in… it’s a devil’s playground,” she says. “I say that because it is filled with plastic and fake people… not the whole entire industry, but when you come into an industry, all you’re really excited about is your success and your talent.”
Get ready to look behind-the-scenes of fame: raw and real.
Before the platinum albums, sold-out shows, and Ruff Ryders anthems, there was Tashera and Earl—two kids from New York with nothing but dreams and deep love. Tashera says they’ve known each other since age 11.
“The first ten years of our relationship was the best part of our relationship, and that was before fame and fortune,” she says. “We were poor… staying at other people’s homes… I was working at a bank and funding the dream with the mixtapes and studio times.”
Even as DMX’s fame rose, Tashera stayed grounded in her love and commitment. But the public success began to cloud the private reality.
“I saw someone that was so humble… kind of gained the world and lost a soul without even seeing it,” she says. “I had the front seat of that.”
Then, infidelity entered the picture, But Tashera leaned fully into her own faith instead of retaliation.
“So many women intentionally came in and slept with my husband… and I just said, ‘What kind of heart is that?’” she recalled. “But I never cheated on my husband. I never talked bad about him.”
A familiar tale, but she’s creating her own happy ending.
As DMX’s stardom grew, so did the cracks in their relationship. For Tashera, the turning point came when the man she once felt safest with began to drift.
“I started to see that my best friend was becoming someone else,” she said. “I wasn’t walking with God the way he was at first, but when it started going left, that’s all I had.”
Even before the spotlight, their relationship was deeply spiritual. Tashera revealed she had converted from Islam while supporting DMX’s rise.
“Me and him were together since we were kids… and watching him navigate life with faith, I converted,” she said. I was abandoned at 14… I said, ‘I’m not going to create a generational curse; I have four children that are innocent.”
Unfortunately, DMX stepped out on their marriage, leading to a divorce. While some women may have lashed out or lashed back, Simmons chose a different route: she turned inward.
“I’ve always been spiritual, but never really activating it, until things started to go really left,” she shares. “I was either gonna sink or fly or sail… and I talk about that in the book.”
Her strength didn’t come from perfection—it came from choosing to protect her peace.
For Tashera, this book comes with years of spiritual rebuilding—and clarity.
“It didn’t happen overnight, but I started to see a shift in my spirit,” she said. “That takes a certain spiritual strength that only could come from dying to yourself.”
Dying to Self offers more than just stories. Tashera shared that each chapter includes scripture, personal reflection, and practical affirmations.
“In my book, I literally give stories… and then give a takeaway with the lesson that I learned from it, the scriptures that I read to help me through that, and an affirmation in the end.”
She first felt the call to share her story after years of speaking engagements where audiences were moved by her transparency.
“I saw tears in the crowd,” she says. “And people would come up to me after and say, ‘How did you do it?’ And I would say, ‘It was only God.’ And I guess that wasn’t enough… so I said, okay, let me put it in a book.”
Though originally set to release in March 2021, Simmons delayed the book after DMX’s death out of respect.
“We were gearing up to drop it, and then my ex-husband passed away,” she says. “There’s no way in hell that I’m able to do this… I won’t sell a million copies just because I just can’t do that.”
She waited on God’s timing, which happened to be March 25, 2025. Y’all better go get a copy!
Simmons also exclusively confirmed to BOSSIP that a film based on her life is currently in development. She discussed that a team reached out to her, insisting that there is a need for her testimony.
“They said, ‘You are the great woman behind that great man, and he’s gone, and no one else has that story the way you do,’” she shares. “My story doesn’t exist without X… I can’t tell my story without Earl.”
Still, Simmons is careful to separate her healing from his choices.
“Everything that he’s done at the end of the day… that has nothing to do with me. The choices he made had nothing to do with me,” she says. “It hurt, but it’s not for me to continue to carry.”
She beautifully showcases emotional maturity, it was clear throughout the entire conversation. Working on self-awareness, introspection and shadow work isn’t just a trendy affirmation. It takes hard work to heal, and Tashera is putting in the heavy lifting to heal and share with the world.
Now, Simmons hopes her words will inspire others to release what weighs them down and move forward with faith.
“I call it a self-help book… if I can help someone that is going through the same exact things that I went through… that’s going to give me so much joy,” she says. “We are just passing here through life… and I didn’t have nobody—I just had God.”
Dying to Self is available now at www.dyingtoself.org, with wider distribution coming soon to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million.
For those still navigating heartbreak, betrayal, or spiritual confusion, Simmons offers a powerful reminder:
“You literally have to let it go. You have to die… to everything you used to believe could serve you. And start tapping into the supernatural power that is here for all of us.”
If you’ve ever had questions about her ideas to find light on the other side of loss—Dying to Self is just the answer.
The post #BWHM Exclusive: Tashera Simmons Releases Dying to Self—A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Letting Go After Life With DMX appeared first on Bossip.
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